To Bespin
by zurla
Summary: Even if the actual length of the travel to Bespin isn't plain yet, surely Han and Leia have had a lot of time to think about what happened on that famous asteroid… How how long did it take them to realize that they had the same feelings towards each other?


**Disclaimer**: These characters don't belong to me, but are George Lucas's property; this story hasn't been written for profit.

**CHAPTER 4: To Bespin**

LEIA

She didn't have the courage to look him in the eyes yet.

The accident with the Mynocks and the sudden escape from Darth Vader's Star Destroyer had momentarily put in second place what had happened in that secluded cabin of the Falcon. But now that they had shaken off their enemies and the travel to Bespin promised to be longer than foreseen, how would she be able to keep on ignoring it?

She didn't want to surrender, but how could she deny the evidence?

Yes, it's true, he had been the one who had trapped her in that hole, who had unexpectedly called her by her name, who had taken her hand and blocked any way of escape… but surely she hadn't applied herself a lot in order to push him away!

_His mouth…_

Despite the desperate situation in which they were, with the always looming risk of being killed and the need to remain lucid in order to survive, she couldn't get the memory of that kiss out of her head. When he had brushed her lips, in such a sweet and sensuous way, she had been overwhelmed by feelings she had tried to suppress for the whole time, by ignoring and soundly underestimating them. Now she felt extremely confused and the more she tried to make things clear in her soul, the more she ended up losing herself in thousands of dead ends.

_After all it was just a kiss…_

But the more she tried to lessen the fact, the more it returned to forcefully claim her attention, making her unable to think about something else. The uncontrolled reaction caused by their closeness, by the contact, by her hands in Han's hair, by his taste… it kept on systematically repeating itself every time he was somewhere near her and this made her fall in a state of feverish agony. It wasn't just a matter of physical attraction, it was useless to keep on hiding it:

_I love Han._

It was humiliating to recognize it, she couldn't understand why it was so hard for her to admit it, but still she had fallen in love other times before and she had never had to fight with her own feelings. Why was everything so complicated with him?

What had the spark been? For which one of his qualities she had lost her mind?

_Surely there've been a lot of sparks… Since we've met, we've done nothing but argue!_

As for the qualities… well, she had studied all his defects so carefully with the purpose of using them against him that she had inevitably ended up finding out his best gifts, so often, contrary to her expectations, she had found herself admiring him instead of mocking him.

_But why did it have to be Han Solo?_

Couldn't she fall in love with someone else?

Even if they managed to get to Bespin safe and sound, he would leave her to go pay off his famous debt with Jabba the Hutt and who knew if he would ever come back. How could she confess her feelings to him while she knew very well that she didn't stand a chance to make him stay?

She'd already tried to stop him on Hoth, but he hadn't wanted to hear any reason.

To tell the truth, she'd tried to disguise her request by bringing up the various necessities of the Rebel army, but Han had guessed that the matter was much more personal than she wanted to let on and it'd been a while since the last time he'd believed her fake indifference.

As she rethought about all the moments spent together, she had to admit that she had let many signs of her unfortunate infatuation escape. On the contrary, she found weird that an expert seducer like him had realized it so late! Since they'd met, he had never lost the chance to offer her his services as a lover, underlining, at each one of her refusals, the size of the lost occasion... but he had always done it more as a game than as a conviction. Only in that last period, after the adventure on Ord Mantell and the arrival to Hoth, things had radically changed. Maybe the words were the same as before, but now he truly believed in what he said:

"_You want me to stay because of the way you feel about me."_

"_You could use a good kiss!"_

"_That's a good story. I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your sight."_

"_I must have hit her pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh, kid?"_

How mad she'd gotten for each one of those sentences… but still he had fully hit the target!

"_You like me because I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels in your life."_

_Oh no, here we go again!_

Leia's thoughts had inexorably gone back to that moment and by then she feared she would've never been able to fully recover her mental sanity again.

_I wonder if he's going as crazy as I am…_

xxx

HAN

«How many times do I have to tell you this? I didn't say anything offensive to her, I behaved, believe me.»

After watching the princess' umpteenth escape, though, the big Wookiee didn't seem very convinced, despite his best friend doing his utmost to support his innocence.

[Ah yes, then why does she keep on avoiding you and doing anything not to remain alone with you?]

Not even Han had a precise answer to that question. He would've expected everything except a behavior like that from Leia. After that famous _episode, _actually, she avoided his gaze, didn't raise her voice anymore, was extremely nice and visibly blushed everytime he tried any approach. He feared a memorable telling off and was ready for an uncontrolled outburst of anger, but this resigned behavior had completely thrown him a curve.

«I believe she needs to think. You know, so many things have happened… and so quickly… » He observed brooding.

[It isn't about the war, it's about you! What did you do to scare her that way?]

«Me? Nothing, I swear!» But Chewbacca bent his head almost like he was expecting a more valuable explanation and, finally, the Corellian was forced to admit: «We simply _talked_ – if it can be defined this way – about our singular way of relating to each other…»

[Ah, now I understand: you mated.] The big creature nodded satisfied.

«Huh?» Han almost fell from his chair, astonished by that rash conclusion. «Hold on a second, please! We humans follow quite different courting rituals than Wookiees! You ugly fuzz ball, I don't even know how you can think such things.»

Chewbacca though kept on following his line of thinking: [The droid has mentioned something to me, after having caught you in intimate behaviors while you pretended to fix the Falcon…]

«Who? That empty tin? What the hell do you think a droid knows about intimacy? And I advise you stop daydreaming about it!» Then, turning his back to his friend he continued in an almost imperceptible way: «We just kissed, end of story.»

[Just?] With a slap, the Wookiee forced his friend to turn towards him again. [To me, it seems the most meaningful progress of the last three years.]

«Thank you. It's so nice of you to clarify it!» Han got up muttering, in order to check some warning lights in the side console.

[I still can't understand why she's avoiding you, though. Wookiee females react in two different ways to a suitor: they accept to mate or they punch him.]

«I appreciate this documentary pearl, but maybe you missed a little detail: I am not a Wookiee! Neither she is, luckily! You see, there are also intermediate reactions between us humans, something halfway between mating and …»

Chewbacca furrowed his brow thoughtfully, apparently his curiosity hadn't been satisfied enough yet. [And how do you value her reaction? Is it closer to the first or to the second hypothesis?]

«To be sincere, I don't know.» Han raised his eyes to the sky, exasperated. «I behaved following my instinct and in that moment I was sure I had done the right thing, but now unfortunately I have no more certainties.»

[Damn, you humans are so complicated.]

«Hey, don't stick to generalities. She is complicated! But we aren't all like that.»

[It's true, you're right about that: when she's near you, she runs away, but she doesn't resist far from you. She's a bizarre creature, but I believe that in the end she loves you.]

«I don't know… I wouldn't be so sure about that.» The Corellian didn't want to make up false illusions, but, to tell the truth, Leia's love was the thing he desired the most in the world.

[Besides the direct ways, Wookiees are famous for their instinct. Trust me, this time you're closer to the first case.]

«The first… what?» The image of _"Scenery A"_ crossed his mind before he could have the time to put a filter to his fantasy and, suddenly, he was filled by a heat wave. «Come on, stop that please… My hormones are already upset, I don't think it's the case to rage on this.»

[Yes, but you've got to do something, you can't go on like this…] The Wookiee observed him halfway between amused and worried.

«I'll try to face her, okay?» Han looked at his friend with the expression of one who's going to make the most important decision of his life. «I'm going to take her aside, we're going to sit down peacefully at a table and talk peacefully about our future.» In the end, though, he wasn't quite sure that that was the best solution so he looked for the Wookiee's support: «What do you think, can it work?»

[I wonder what you're waiting for.]

The two exchanged a knowing look. Now the smuggler just had to find the best moment to face Leia.

xxx

HAN and LEIA

Han found the princess intent on studying some maps on the game table in the Falcon's small living room. She was apparently focused but, as she pretended to examine very carefully those old papers, he knew very well that she was observing his every move out of the corner of her eye. The Corellian hesitated a moment at the door then, determined to carry out the prearranged proposition, he tried to discreetly sit next to her. As foreseen, as soon as his bottom touched the couch, hers had already sprung up. So the idea of a peaceful talk between adults had to be swerved from the beginning!

«I'm sorry, I took your maps because they intrigued me. But don't worry, now I'll put everything back in place.» Leia readily apologized.

In his life, Han had never managed to correctly fold those maps in a short time, he always needed two or three attempts at least, but she had magically managed it at the first shot.

«You can look at the maps as much as you want, I only keep them to light up the fire in case of extreme necessity!» He sighed disheartened.

«No, but… I'm alright, I distracted myself while I waited for the washing machine to finish its program.»

«Again?! But it's already the third laundry in a day!» The smuggler furrowed his eyebrow strongly perplexed. «I think that that washing machine has never worked so much in its life!»

«There are many dirty clothes...» She still avoided to look at him in the eyes. «But I think that they are ready now.»

At seeing her proceeding so swiftly towards the door, Han jumped to his feet and stopped her before she could escape like the previous time.

«Hey, Leia? Wait a moment.» His hand reached the opening control of the door first. «Just a second, come on, we can't go on like this… and so… well, that is, I was wondering if you want to talk about it?»

_Well, now I said it and I can't take it back._ The smuggler remained waiting for some seconds, even forgetting to breathe.

«Talk about what?» She drew back her hand which had ended dangerously near to his, but continued to keep his back to him, simply looking at him furtively.

«About what has happened… About the two of us.» He dared timorous.

«The two of us?!» She slowly turned, pretending not to understand, but the blush on her face betrayed her.

_The two of us._ No, she wasn't ready to hear that combination of words yet, everything was so upsetting…

«Forget it, I got it: you don't want to talk about that!» He lowered his gaze frowning, then he left his grip on the control of the door and turned in order not reveal his own frustration.

_I'm a real idiot… what was I thinking? That she would throw her arms around my neck? That's it, now she'll avoid me more than before! Come off it, while I'm staying here mulling over she will already have disappeared_…

As he raised his head again, though, he found her still there.

«It's not that I don't want… It's that I fear I'm not able to do it yet.» Finally she looked at him in the eyes, openly showing her confusion to him. Han had never seen her so vulnerable and he couldn't fight the urge to reach out and take her hands, like he wanted to give her some courage.

«I understand you, I'm feeling like a perfect idiot in this moment too! As far as I reflected about it – and believe me, I reflected about it a lot – I haven't found any other solution but making things clear between us.» He talked to her kindly, smiling faithfully to her, and she already felt that the event that had upset her so much in the last hours was inevitably going to repeat itself.

_The power he has on me is terrifying! _She thought as she felt herself melt under his gaze_._

_But I can't let him win this way, this time he must accept my conditions… I don't want him to leave me, I don't want him to risk his life in order to go back to Jabba The Hutt._

«Han, I'm too confused… I don't think this is the right moment to make things clear, there are too many things involved.» Even if reluctantly, she slipped away from his embrace, but she felt herself die when she saw the smile on his face weaken.

«We have a lot of time to talk before we reach Bespin.» He stated, resentful.

_That's exactly the point Han!_

«Right, Bespin. And after Bespin what will happen?»

«Ah, there's the problem! If I'm not mistaken we've already talked about this.» Now the Corellian had darkened. He knew that she had never stood by his decision to go back to Jabba in order to pay off his debt. Unfortunately, though, the princess kept on not giving importance to the fact that he wasn't the only one risking his life, but also all the people dearest to him: the dirty Hutt wouldn't hesitate to use any way in order to blackmail him.

Nevertheless, with those words, she was betraying her true feelings. This time she hadn't involved the Rebellion, but she was talking just for herself.

In that precise moment, Han realized that he was willing to do anything in order to win her over and, after having silently accepted that truth, he added: «If I stayed, would you take in serious consideration the idea of… _seeing each other_?»

«We've been _seeing each other _for three years_._» She was upset even by the idea, but the attempt to change the subject failed miserably.

«You know very well what I mean!»

«I… don't know, I don't want to think about it right now…I'm just asking you to give me some time.» She felt her face boiling in embarrassment, she would've never imagined to find herself, one day, discussing with Han about their hypothetical future together.

«Alright then, I will wait for you to make your decision.» He answered her nodding and smiling relieved, reacquiring his usual cocky air.

«I really can't understand why you're suddenly so happy.» That change of mood made her suspicious and she certainly wasn't willing to accept the humiliation of being pulled by the leg, most of all now that she had just begun to understand the true significance of her feelings.

«In the end you didn't say no…»

«I didn't say yes either.» Leia stated breathing in relief. Luckily this meant that in the end he really cared to continue their _conversation_.

«The fact is that you can't say no to me anymore and you know very well why…»

_Because I love you. But I won't say it if you won't promise me you'll stay. _«No, I don't know. And stop looking at me like that, haven't you just granted me some respite?»

«You can't think about it as much as you want, the more you do the more you'll realize you're crazy for me!»

«If there's someone crazy here, that's you.» She had taken back her usual haughty tone, though deep down she was amused by his cheekiness and couldn't stay serious anymore.

«Honey, you can't imagine how much I am! …And besides, once again, you didn't say no.»

At first Han came closer to her face with his until he was almost feeling her breath then, remembering the promise just made, diverted his lips from the dangerous path they had taken and placed a loud kiss on her forehead.

When he raised his head again and saw Leia's astonished expression he couldn't help but laugh. It's useless to say that, after that last exploit, she could have no more doubts about his clear state of madness!


End file.
